Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
My Worlds Collide
Why this hasn't happened before is beyond me. My obsessions with Yelping and blogging haven't ever been combined into one MEGA obsession, but it has come, my friends. It has come. I am now Yelping about my blog and blogging about Yelp. My world is now complete.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Hammer Pants and a Bottle of Whine
Although considered a "forefather" of entertainment rap music (or "pop rap") at one time, due to his mainstream appeal since the late 1980s, he would later be considered a "sell-out" rapper by many. Nonetheless, BET ranked Hammer as the #7 Best Dancer Of All Time." Not bad for a guy who wrote a song about a time that doesn't really exist. The question that I ponder is: what would have happened to that song if he would have written it about, oh, I don't know, 2:30 time? I can't begin to imagine that STOP! 2:30 time! would have had the same effect. Okay so after singing the praises of said Hammer Pants, I have to wikiwander there...
2. Hammer Pants- Apparently Hammer Pants are officially called Harem Pants in fashionista circles throughout the globe. BO-RING... Back to my main man, Stan. Gotta find something with some sort of cool hyperlinkage... Okay, so locales are always good for linking... So we've got this one...
3. Tracy, California- (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tracy,_California) OH... It's a suburb of Stockton. Wow. that's. not. exciting. at. all. Aight, so it's also KINDA a suburb for the San Fran Bay area. Wait a minute... Tracy, California. Northern Cali? Wine? Yeah, there's gotta be something about wine in here. Lemme look. Wow. Nothing about wine. I could really go for a bottle of wine right now. Maybe a nice pinot or zin... Cab even. Hmmm... sad. But I digress. I whinegress, if I may. I don't even know if that works, but I'm leaving it. It's my blog, I can do what I want. Come to find out, this is a totally hoppin' place. They've had problems with water contamination because of DDT in the area (which is awesome) and choloroform from the Georgia Pacific operations in the area. Wow, this place must have incredibly low rates of birth defects! Not only that, but it also lies on top of 3 faults and next to a 4th, so it's 'quakey, too! Double. Bonus. OH, it has a sister city! ...and it's in Japan... Clickin on that one...
Memuro, Japan- (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memuro,_Hokkaido) Looks bo-ring, but I'm winging it. It's itty bitty, but it's on an islandy0looking place called Hokkaido... That's gotta be cool...
5. Hokkaido, Japan- (http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hokkaido) Okay, so this place is GORGEOUS. It means North Sea Circuis and it's an island in the nothern part of Japan. It's Japan's second largest island behind the main one and it looks absolutely breathtaking. It's the home of the sity of Saporro, which I've heard is also a great Japanese beer. This place was settled 20,000 years ago?!?! Shut up! It had to be COLD back then. Youch. Wait a tick, I can go home how. I'm going home. If you guys want to learn abotu Japan, I recommend wikiing it. But I recommend wikiing everything, so you should've seen that one coming.
Until next time, remember that I'm too legit to quit... Off to Target I go.
PS... I fully intend to get photoshop soon so I can make the pictures on this blog worth a damn. It. will. happen.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Monty Python and My Personal Battle with our Stepchild to the North Known as Canada
Man, I knew I could count on a crazy Zimbabwean to come up with a starting point for my blog. My buddy Allen read fatal hilarity (still my new fav phrase) and immediately a light went off about a lil sketch that our buddies over at Monty Python did in their Flying Circus. I'm mixing it up a little this time, I'm going to actively try to find a way to get to Canada at some point; just so I can talk a little trash. Yes, it does make me feel better about myself to talk trash aboot Canucks, okay?
- Toronto- home of the Blue Jays (in the US MLB), the Maple Leafs (apparently they can't spell in Toronto... the Raptors (in the NBA, the "N" standing for the nation of the U.S.), I'll give them the Maple Leafs (they can have the NHL as Yogesh pointed out, but apparently they can't spell in Toronto) there HAVE to be some other teams... Oh yeah, the Argonauts, no joke, are in the Canadian Football League... Hmmm... No comment.
- Montreal- keeps trying to succeed and become it's own nation and I can't say that I blame it
- Vancouver- going to host the Olympics in 2010, which is pretty bad ass, not gonna lie. Too bad they're the winter Olympics, but you can't really expect Canada to host the summer Olympics... I mean, they're for warm weather and they're bad ass... So it no dice for the Canucks. SPEAKING OF WHICH, they thought it was a good idea to name their hockey team... the Canucks... Really? That's almost as ridiculous as naming a team from the U.S. the Yankees... What kind of idiot would do that?!? Oh yeah, and up there is their logo. What does that have to do with a Canadian other than it has a "C" in it? The lack of brilliance is astounding. Yeah, my job here is complete.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Whoo, it's time for a phone tap!
This blog has absolutely NOTHING to do with a phone tap (http://www.q101.com/airstaff/shermantingle_phonetap.aspx), but I felt that I sould give a shout out to my girl Clarissa Jenkins just because I love her.
Friday, April 17, 2009
The Deuce
Oh and to think that my buddy Yogesh and I used to be arch rivals and now he's providing me with an incredible starting point for my sophomore blog...
- This thing starts out with a bang. I bet that you had no idea that Empedolces (the pre-Socratic philosopher, wow... never thought I'd ever need that one from Freshman year...) jumped into Mt. Etna?! Friggin Mt. Etna!! Yeah, it should come as no surprise that we never studied his stuff in school because CLEARLY he wasn't that bright. Apparently it was to convince people that he had been taken by the Gods on Olympus... Really?? Was there no better way?? People were SO ungullible at this time, I'm sure it must have taken such actions to prove a point.... Hmmm... Wait a minute... Okay, off soapbox and onto next cool death...
- Chrysippus died of laughter. No shit? That's awesome. Wow, maybe I shouldn't say things like "this cracks me up" or "he kills me." IT COULD HAPPEN. Dude was watching a drunk donkey eat figs and straight up keeled over from laughing. It seriously cannot get any better than this... I have to find my next wanderword before this article goes downhill... and... there it is... "died of laughter"